Taking the Plunge...officially

Tomorrow I am taking the plunge...and I feel crazy, scared, afraid...and excited. Two weeks ago I signed up with Team In Training to run a Marathon and raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society...yes that is the 26.2 mile marathon kind...and yes I have to raise $4,000 to help in the effort to find a cure for cancer. The marathon is on January 14th in Arizona.

What motivated me to do this? (Tonight I am in a paralyzed state of fear, so I am even second guessing my own motivations!!)

Ok...my motivations...for those of you who know me, I am a total over-achiever, perfectionist, passionate person...and those qualities extend to my job and my husband and my dogs...but then it stops. I have been going through a series of crisis where I have realized that I am not doing anything beyond my little happy home to make a heck of a lot of difference in this world; I am selfish with my time, with my heart, with my giving, with everything...I live in a solar system that orbits around a white middle class upbringing that craves comfort over challenge, and craves stability over risk. I am 31 years old, and I feel like my days and nights are passing by and I am not "giving" back to anyone; and certainly not making a difference!!

So last September, I went through a period where God began to plant seeds of empowerment in me...it has been this unfolding of layers of fear and insecurity, where he has gently been urging me to use my gifts/talents for others, not for my sake; and he has reminded me (almost daily!!) that I am empowered to make a difference; that He has equipped me; that I just need to trust Him (imagine that) and He will take me on this journey. I have also learned from so many around me that we have a responsibility to make change and to make a difference where we can...

I can blame a lot of this on a movie called the Constant Gardener, which I highly recommend to others...

Why the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society? On February 1, 1999, my college roommate, Kelly Walsh Goebler, died suddenly of sudden onset Leukemia...also known as Acute lymphoblastic leukemia (A.L.L)...she decided to skip a Superbowl Party with her husband Jerry (they were married for 3 months), and he came home to her vomiting and rushed her to the hospital; it was too late, as the Leukemia had overtaken her and she passed early in the afternoon on the 1st. To this day, that was the worst time of my life; I want to give so others do not go through the same pain Kelly's family and our friends experienced.

Anyway...so tomorrow I am off, and start my training. I am freakin' scared to death of Failure!!!!!!!! I tried to get Tim to give me permission to quit already! I am so afraid that I will not be able to complete the run, or raise enough money...but I am going to take it day by day. I have to cross train tomorrow, run 2 miles on Friday, and 2 more on Saturday...and on Sunday I get to REST! Glorious REST!! :)

I would love it if you would help me through kind words, prayers and encouragement...that would be great...

Or you could donate? And help find a cure for cancer? Maybe you can donate $1 per mile, so $26 dollars? You can actually donate online...here is my website...

http://www.active.com/donate/tnttn/leighholt

So that's my story, I am taking the plunge!!

Know any good running shoes? I am starting with some pretty cool addidas...